Obnoxious Motherhood

The Confession

2012-01-20T22:07:00.001-05:00

I just tucked my eight year old son in his bed for the third time tonight. He fell asleep on me after pouring out his soul in a guilty confession. The tears flowed. He was incredibly remorseful and full of shame for what he did. My heart broke into pieces as I pushed away my disappointment in his actions as he was hysterically crying on me. He said he couldn't take it anymore. He said he couldn't hide this from me and it was eating him up inside.

Ugh. Don't I know that feeling all too well.

It's sad to see your child have to deal with those feelings. Even if he was in the wrong. I lectured him and wiped his tears and put him to bed. (again) Poor kid kept balling his head off. I thought maybe he will cry himself to sleep. So about seven minutes went by and no such luck of any chance of him calming down.

So I did the next best thing. I told the little confessor to come to Momma and hugged his remorseful soul as I let him fall asleep on me. He was in the wrong for what he did. I am just so happy that he felt like he could come to me and tell me what he did wrong.

Lord have mercy, .....I hope that he will keep confessing his ill actions when he gets to be in his teens. I know ...I know - fat chance on that. Right?

My 8 Year Old Yoga Instructor

2012-01-17T12:29:00.003-05:00

My dear son is eight years old. He is sweet, sensitive, and adorable. Yet he channels some Napoleon Dynamite at times. Let me explain. In the middle of homework yesterday, my son started to get a bit stressed out about what he had left to accomplished. He started to ~~whine and complain~~ freak out to the point of frustration. I gently rubbed his back and tried to calm him down and reason with him that he can do it and to just keep going.

He turned and looked at me and took a big sigh and seriously said, "I guess I'm gonna have to do some yoga."

What? Where did he learn this at?!

Cuz if you took a look at me, you'd know he didn't learn it from me.

With a determined mind, he pushed from the table and stood up and threw his arms up touching his hand together and took deep breaths.

My little man said he was still stressed. So then he proceeded to do a downward dog and stretched. He explained to me how this helps him when he gets stressed out at school and they learned to do this in P.E. the other day.

I sat in amazement and tried to hold back my chuckles. He was so preciously adorable. You know what? I think it worked. He felt better about the mountain of homework and changed his attitude into something positive.

Isn't it amazing, just how much we can learn from our children? Even a little Yoga Instructor?

Out with the Old - In with the New!

2012-01-15T17:54:00.003-05:00

For someone who has a synchronized musical Christmas light display, it is a wonder that my favorite holiday of the year is New Years Eve. I relish in the very last moment to kiss the previous year goodbye and welcome the new one. It is therapeutic especially when the year that you have had has been horrible and you can open your arms to new opportunities that may come your way. It is a new adventure to be explored. That thought alone is very exciting.

This past New Years Eve, I was fortunate to spend it with wonderful friends, not to mention Captain Caveman as well. Usually he is working all of our holidays and it is rare that we get to spend them together.

I am amazed at how much my children have grown over the years. Makes me wanna wear my #1 Mom medal in public.

I have been so busy looking after the needs of my husband and children, that I have forgotten to take care of me (again). I have put aside my dreams and goals as I have been in the rat maze of homework, mac and cheese, and iCarly.

I pinky swear I will be around more often.

By the way - HAPPY NEW YEAR!

"Mom - Don't you wanna be fashion?"

2011-08-14T17:18:00.001-04:00

Today my 6 year old diva daughter informed me that I "need to be fashion!" Uh...seriously whose kid is this? Definitely not mine. Listen Chicky, they know me at Walmart and I am in hip style there. I'll have you know that I have never been photographed and posted at People of Walmart. (yet) Okay so I haven't showered in a day or two...and I am wearing my clothes from yesterday... (still smells okay to me..)

So back to my diva daughter. She said she wanted to read a magazine. I handed her Fashion Bug. (uh place rocks plus size!) she looked at me and tossed it back in my direction and said don't you have a REAL - you know - fashion magazine?

Oh you mean those air brushed freak shows that throw up in a bucket and claim that they were working out hard this week? oh right. Nope sorry girlfriend I don't carry "those" around here. Is it time to break out your Barbie dolls and have a chat again? Ya you know when I make Barbie explain what REAL beauty is and not what these plastic things you play with that are geometrically impossible. Do we need to have another talk (through the Barbie) of what women struggled to go through to get voting rights and equal pay as a man? (they would be turning in their grave)

So I am not as "fashion" as you want me to be, I got news for ya tootsie, you can't buy the strength that I carry inside. You can't buy the kindness and love I give to you. So excuse me if I am carrying my baby weight (help me Jesus) still and my hair is in a scrunchy, but there ain't another person on this planet who will love you the way I do.

Take that - you fashionista... now go get me the remote. (smirks)

Where is Casey Anthony?

2011-07-23T16:36:00.002-04:00

WHO FREAKING CARES! I don't. (if my screaming three words didn't give you a clue.) Perhaps the talking heads should consider consulting a Where's Waldo book. Just as long as she is away from my kids. I frankly dear, don't give a darn. I would guess right now she is in New York City trying to score her big deal for her ~~fifteen~~ twenty minutes of fame for compensation of ~~an interview~~ photos and book deals.

I am sure Geraldo will score this deal and toss her a bunch of softball questions that will show how she was the biggest victim in this tragedy. The world will watch (you will too, don't lie) and be disgusted even more.

God knows where she will end up and I really don't care just as long as she does not move in my neighborhood. I would hate to be the victim of a misfire weapon from a freakish overly medicated nerd who wants "justice for caylee" ... please. Not to mention the media who keeps fueling the fire of hatred on her with blocks of nothing but media vans and satellite dishes.

If everyone would quit giving her all this attention, then she would quietly go away. (one would hope)

Your false compassion is pointless.

2011-07-12T09:41:00.000-04:00

Casey Anthony is finally getting out of jail this Sunday. She was found not guilty on three charges, including escaping the death penalty. So where is this girl going to go now? Thanks to social media and the gift from God ... Television, she has been plastered all over the screens with her stone cold face as she was listening to this disgusting details of how her precious little girl Caylee was found. This only enraged the public even more, people from all over the country drove to pay their respects to Caylee and try to land a seat in the court room to seek her impending doom. Well.... hopeful impending doom. The results of not guilty raised a very bad taste in the majority of the citizens of this country. So much, that protesters began to look much like Jerry Springer guests screaming "Justice for Caylee!" arguing with those that challenged their opinions.

Caylee is gone. Her family has been grieving for years now, and you are hopping on the ban wagon screaming with your sign. May I suggest something to you? Mom to mom here... Take your sign home, take that time and energy you have, and go volunteer and help find the other missing children and bring them home instead. Volunteer at a shelter for abused children. Do something constructive besides hold a sign and scream in a camera. Guess what?! The jury has left the building because their job is finished. Disagree all you want (I do), but there is nothing you can do now.

Casey is going to make a ton of money off her daughters death and people will be frothing at their mouths for awhile, but eventually this will all die down. We need to resort back to a normal functioning society and focus our attention on something more positive.

False compassion is pointless. If you want to do something about it, then do something for someone who needs it right now.

Be Warned Now! I'm Back!

2011-06-29T20:01:00.004-04:00

Yah, thats right. I'm back on the blogging community. It's been a while and I am still doing my stingray shuffle getting my feet wet. BUT I have to say, it feels good to be here again.

So where did I go?

Life got a bit busy for me. I started working again and after 8 years of being home bound looking after my little ones, it was an adjustment to go through.

Also, my precious daughter had health issues that had us in and out of the children's hospital all last year. She is doing much better now, so that means

I am here again pouring my heart and soul into cyber space. I am here to harass you and annoy the ever living poo out of you.

I know you love it. :)

I hope you also check out Fabulous Female, my other blog that I co-author with my friend Rebecca. (she is the queen of fabu if you ask me) At Fabulous Female we highlight interesting ladies of the present and of the past, hoping to inspire you. Amazing women have been lost in the shadows of history and it is time to shine a spot light on them and honor them for their achievements.

How To Get Out of Rutville

2011-06-27T19:04:00.002-04:00

Are you in a rut? Do you feel like your life patterns after the movie Groundhog Day? Sometimes we can get stuck in our schedule doing the same thing day in and day out. Waking up the same time daily, leaving the house the same time daily, and driving the same route at the same time daily can lead you to feeling like you life is an endless cycle. Without keeping your mind stimulated can lead you down a road to Rutville. Here are five suggestions that I found effective to bring a spring back in your step and will help you feel better about yourself.

15 Minutes of "Me" Time

Don't have a minute to spare, then consider waking up 15 minutes earlier. Spend this time just for you. A little extra "me" time never kills anyone. You deserve to feel good and sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are worth it (and more.) Read a devotional book or a book of inspiring quotes. Tingle your ears by listening to your favorite album. Drink a fresh cup of coffee, step outside, and breath in the fresh air. Knowing that you are doing something just for you will make you smile inside. Even if you don't feel like taking 15 minutes out of your day for you, do it anyway because it is what you need to do.

Dress Up

Put on your favorite outfit even if you aren't planning on seeing anyone that day. You will feel better about how you look and this will boost your self esteem. Look in the mirror and say positive things about how you look. Focusing on the negative will only bring damaging thoughts, instead focus on the good things about your features. Do your hair and makeup. Remember when you were younger and you would try different styles and looks? It made you feel good about yourself back then didn't it? Pick up this good habit once again to boost your mood.

Clear The Clutter
How many times do we walk past that stack of mail, cluttered closet shelves, or a corner that seems to be piling full of junk? It screams and nags at us to do something about it and we just ignore it and think we will take care of it another day. I say just take the time and do it. Set the timer for 5 minutes and just go for it. You will probably be shock in how little time and effort it took. The next time you'll walk past it, you will feel like you accomplished something and pat yourself on the back emotionally.

Clear Your Mind

If your mind is in a fog, maybe you need an extra nap? Feeling worried about something in particular? Then consider venting to a friend, on paper, or release the stress in kick boxing. Meditation and placing your mind in a "happy place" will renew your mind and spirit. Talk it out with yourself and make a list of what exactly is bothering you. Then next to your concerns, write out solutions and then decide to be proactive about it.

Think Positively

It is easy to let our emotions take over and lose sight of what is true. Place yourself outside of your situations and think objectively and not emotionally about your unsettled thoughts. Remind yourself that feelings aren't factual. You may 'feel' a certain way about something, but is it truly factual? Replace those stinky thoughts with positive ones and eventually you will start to act in a positive way.

Practicing these several suggestions will detour you out of Rutville. Everyone goes through this town, it is just up to you whether you want to park there. It may not be easy to do these suggestions, just don't give up and keep trying. Eventually this path will lead you to success and you will feel better about life.

I'm a fish murderer!

2011-06-26T19:36:00.000-04:00

I have a confession, I flushed a live fish down the drain yesterday. Yes, its true. We had two betta fish, one for each child. We didn't have a fancy fish bowl with filter and toys. We're cheap (its fish for Gods sake! ... we eat them!) We purchased two generic fish bowls when we bought the fish on mothers day. The blue fish died two days ago. Thank GOD the kids never noticed him floating. I didn't have the heart to keep one without the other.

You know how kids can be? Two big brown eyes look up towards where the fish bowl used to be, one set of eyes are happy watching their fish swim around, while the other set of eyes are sad with tears, missing their fish that used to be there. Little lips quiver, tears fall down sweet cheeks, and the WHINE that can break glass comes to mom ears? (no thanks!)

So I did the next best thing. I flushed the other child's fish to follow his little friend. Trust me, he had a better chance of living than in our house. One of the kids finally noticed this morning that their fish are gone. Thankfully, it was the older one who has his mind more on video games than keeping fish around. He took the news well.

The four year old? She has no idea yet, I hope that she won't hold it against her mom for flushing her fish down the drain. I did keep NEMO in mind, when I did the deed, I told him that all drains lead to the ocean and to go find his father.

Aaaaahhh. That confession feels better. Are any of you guys guilty of fish murder?

A peek inside Donny's pants

2011-06-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

At this moment, my daughter Sophia is buying her first Ken doll with her daddy. (God bless him) I wonder if she is going to do the peek-a-roo and take his pants off like every other single little girl who owned a Ken doll.

(oh come on... I know you did it too)

It's normal that a child has curiosity over what inside the other team's pants. I never peeked in Ken's pants, actually. Not because I didn't want to, it was because I didn't have Ken.

I had Donny Osmond. Ha ha ... yep. And YES I peeked inside his pants to see what the difference was.

Picture it, Baltimore, Maryland 1977 in my parent's very furnished basement . ....I was wearing my red and white bell bottom plaid pants, a long sleeve red pleated shirt with a tiny red bow turtle neck, and long red pony tails topped off with a thick yarn red bows. It was winter time and I was a lonely only child that made B.F.F.'s with my Barbies and danced around like a wacko to the Mickey Mouse Club record player.

Excited that I finally got my first male doll to accompany dates with Barbie and Skipper too to their Barbie town house ( my parents were too cheap to buy me the Barbie Dream House just for the know), I ran up the basement stairs skipping every other step, after all, I am all about time management in my formative years. Peering around the corner of the basement door to see if anyone was coming, I quietly shut the basement door and ran back down the stairs.

My thick Wonder Woman themed glasses started to fog up as I took a big sigh of anxiousness to finally see what "it" looked like.

"Darn it Donny! Why do you have to have that crazy purple jumpsuit?" I thought in my struggle to undress him.

Finally Success!

Wait a minute......... hhmmm..... ?????

I don't get it.

This isn't what the neighborhood girls described.

"Huh. Okay... so that is weird" I thought with brow raised.

.......... Later that night, watching ">The Donny and Marie Show with my parents. I sat criss cross on the floor smugly knowing from my great discovery.

Yep. I know Donny.... what is in those pants of yours.

So as I wait for my dear daughter to come home... I wonder if she too will have that same perplexed look as I did when I was in my youth from my great discovery? Is she going to peek in Ken's pants too?

Yep. I'll bet my life on it.

Back to Work! (it's only been 8 years)

2011-06-25T22:58:00.000-04:00

Going back to work after 8 YEARS!

Yesterday morning I was pushed up and tucked in the right places as I put on my business suit for my interview. It has been 8 years since I have had to wear that costume. I had forgotten how long it takes to look the part in wearing grown up clothes. I shook, shimmied, and did my cardio workout with my shape wear. To tell you the truth, after all that work getting put together, I looked stunning. ;) Franky, it has been a very long time since I dressed up so much for anyone.

I was nervous as heck about joining the work force again. I don't know what to expect. Did the outside world become space tech like the Jetsons? They have that blue tooth thing and gigantic I Pads now. So what am I getting myself into?!
I came up with the Top 10 Reason's to Hire Me a while ago and deemed it appropriate to share today. In today's market, one must sell themselves for hire.

10.) I will be on time always because I am up bright and early. My six year old is an early riser and is up at 5:00 am everyday (even weekends).

9.) I would be extremely enthusiastic because I am not used to being around adults and it is a pure treat for me. I am almost “honored”

8.) I have an extensive language skill. I speak not only English, but I am FLUENT in Baby-nees.

7.) I would be a great asset to your Team because I am not afraid to get my hands dirty! Currently my position title is “Designated Butt Wiper”. (And I have been pee’d on a few times as well)

6.) I can pull an all nighter! At my current job I have stayed up many times with my associates caring for them. Even when I have been sick myself.

5.) I can bring creativity to your team! I have been hands on with art projects almost daily for the last six years!

4.) I'm immune to WHINING.

3.) You won’t have to worry about my personal and professional appearance. I only shower when I leave the house!

2.) Did I mention I am cute?

1.) I am the ICON of a Desperate Housewife. So if you don’t hire me, I will Google you and stalk you until you do.

As I said before, it has been 8 years since I have "gone back to work." (I say this loosely, as I work very hard at home being a mother and running my household.) Looks like I'm gonna have to change my the title of my blog!........ The Obnoxious S.A.H.M. (stay at home mother) because I GOT THE JOB! No longer will I be a slave to Pop Tarts and the Price is Right, I will actually have to shower in the morning, because I have somewhere to go.

I guess this means I have to shave my legs?

The teachers in the car circle are going to be shocked when I don't pop out of the car in my pajamas and slippers anymore. Does this mean my blogging days are over? Nope. I'll still be here, just with more material.

My "old" Nonsense

2011-06-25T19:40:00.002-04:00

If you are having an evening like I am, then you are ready to hit the red button and nuke a country. It's my kids. They drive me insane. I love them endearingly with all my heart. Sadly, my war wounds are showing in the form of premature gray and just this morning I woke up with a pimple. Not to mention, I am still claiming that my extra (ahem) many pounds I am carrying around are still my "baby weight" ... well.. it is right? I just never lost the pregnancy weight from both of my pregnancies.

As I grow older, the less tolerance I have for nonsense. I swore I would never turn into one of "these" and I even begged friends (what are their names again?.. I forgotten) to please smack me if I ever turned "OLD."

This morning on the way home, the sixteen year old nerd in front of me was jamming out in his very expensive-he must have got an A- truck. It was obnoxious. Now normally I like that sorta thing. I had my car pimped out when I was his age and my "boom boom" would shake the windows as I would drive around. My parents used to tell me they could hear me coming blocks away.

Now 20 years later, I have become one of "those" and find that sort of thing pure nonsense. I scolded this disrespectful young man and gave him the brows down face. Then I looked in the mirror and thought...

wait a minute... who are you again? So what happened? I demand that my children speak politely to me and answer me with a Yes Ma'am constantly.

When did I become a "Ma'am?"

ugh. Is there any going back? Can I be a "Miss" again?

No? hhhmmmm.... I didn't think so.

Well if you need me, I'll be the hunched over gray haired pushing 40 year old giving the youngsters a brows down and chugging my Geritol.

Pinch Me! I met my Sensei!

2011-06-25T11:54:00.002-04:00

Okay, Someone PINCH ME PLEASE! I just met with my Sensei today. Her name is Sandra McKenna who has to be one of the coolest ladies on the planet. I joke with her often calling her Almighty One. She has been, seen, and done such unbelievably cool things as far as writing, producing, and various parts of the media that I could never do her justice as to attempt to even cover all that she has accomplished. We met on Twitter (she is @mcmedia) and found that we are practically neighbors! She sent me a message and suggested that we have to meet, since we are in the same area. So of course, I jumped on this wonderful opportunity!

You know it isn’t often that such an exciting event happens in this stay at home mom’s life! Geez, making good time in the car circle and going grocery shopping at my local grocery store is fascinating to me! So please forgive me as I write this, my head is still in a fog!

I freaked out. “HOLY CRUD! I am going to meet my mentor for the first time!” I said to myself in shock as I glared in the mirror looking at my gray roots peeking out of my I don’t give a poo hairdo. Needing to get a quick fix, I ran to my beauty supply shop local Walgreens store. I got my fake on and bought hair color in a lovely shade of auburn and Lee press on nails, French tip.

(oh get your eyebrows down people! I was desperate)

Needless to say, I looked smashing after I finished my transformation from a mother who hides in the car circle in her pajamas to a “normal” looking lady who was half way presentable, even if I was wearing my mom jeans. When I first met her, I was actually tongue tied. It was quite funny to me, because I don’t get like that even around people or even celebrities that I have met in the past. Nervous as HECK I just fessed up and announced like the nerd that I am how nervous I was. Sandi is so gracious, raw, and down to earth, she assured me to chill out and she shared interesting stories about herself. I finally relaxed and eased into our fantastic visit.

I learned so much from her in the couple of hours meeting with her and left so encouraged knowing that I am on the right path in pursuing my passions. Also, I really got see and know just how funny she is! We had many laughs together as well. Currently, Sandi is involved in a few projects, one being a producer for this HYSTERICAL Show called Mid Life Road Trip (Therapy for a Mid Life Crisis

As I left my meeting with Sandi, I was ignited to start back on projects that I have left untouched for years. These files have been collecting dust in my Word Perfect. I have had so many voices tell me literally how they hated my work and I been snobbed for my raw writing style. Sadly, these voices ring louder on bad days and I have been so close to giving up on my dreams and passions of writing professionally, because of the haters and their pathetic worthless opinions. Why is it that we give them such an audience? Such people are toxic and should never be given a voice.

Let’s throw poo at them! (sorry I was channeling my 4 year old)

Having someone so accomplished as my new friend Sandi, giving her stamp of approval to me was like a cool refreshing water flushing out all the doubts that I have had in my abilities. Do you have a Sensei like me?

To follow and become a fan of Midlife Road Trip click here! http://www.midliferoadtripshow.com

Behave or I will Blog about YOU!

2011-06-25T11:43:00.001-04:00

If you didn't know, there is great power in blogging! This thought is true because when it comes to businesses and marketing, the individual becomes a voice of great influence. In a matter of seconds our voice is heard and permanently spoken for all to see in a matter of clicks on the world wide web. We as bloggers have the power to influence products in a positive light and/or in a negative light. We can sullen a reputation and it can be linked and shared with thousands, maybe even millions! Voters have been swayed by political opinions of blogs, thus holding the power in the people’s hands to change the direction of a country! Blogging is a written word of opinion, thoughts, and ideas that are being shared with a community of like minded or non like minded people.

Even mom blogs like mine hold influential powers. We can share our opinions on different types of products we buy as families . Because of this, we are creating a profit and loss for companies in hopes that we purchase their items. The personal mom blogs are are not a small community to be over looked. By all means, we are an EMPIRE. We vent our feelings and share with our friends our daily comings and goings.

(Hi guys… waves with high fives and air kisses)

In my past experiences, I have had personal vents shared on other blogs, creating a snow ball effect of sharing our thoughts! We are a huge community, an empire of our voices that is being heard to influence each other and in the marketing world. The power is in our hands. Use it wisely!

With this in mind, I created a simple shirt that pretty much says it all, “Behave or I will BLOG about YOU!” It is now up and ready to purchase in my Zazzle store so you can share your power of influence to change the world!

A great blog that I read and shared this week on Twitter is from my friend Michelle, from The Professional Family Manager. She wrote a fantastic blog, titled Blogging, Changing the World for Mothers. It’s worth checking out and commenting!

Torturing Yourself?

2011-06-25T11:39:00.001-04:00

Don’t you know that holding bitterness and resentment towards someone isn’t hurting them at all?! Its only hurting YOU! Bitterness and resentment are two nasty “friends” that you need to say goodbye too! Forgiveness and grace should be your best friends to love, hold dear, and cherish. They are loyal companions and definitely would never bring harm to you, instead they bring life and healing to your soul. Who wouldn’t want that?!

If you take a serious investment and inventory of all the wrongs that have been done to you, do you really count it worth all things to live in anger and robbing you of great joy?! Don’t get me wrong, no one deserves to be victimized. NEVER. It is up to us to dust off the dirt and make the right choices to live a productive and happy life.

Consider a good start to give a boot to these two enemies! Say goodbye to bitterness and resentment and cloth yourself in grace and forgiveness instead! I understand it may be difficult and a long journey. So make a good start today!

Oh Lord,

Thank you for the opportunity to have the chance to start over today. I ask that you help me forgive those who have hurt me. I don’t want to live with bitterness and resentment any longer. I ask that you give me grace and mercy to forgive them. Set me free and give me a fresh start so that I may live with your exceeding joy! Thank you for your faithfulness.

Amen

Reflecting Within

2011-06-24T23:23:00.001-04:00

Have you ever thought about who you are to so many different people in this world? Think about it. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, hated by the haters, a writer, an associate to businesses and prior businesses, a student, a teacher, a customer, a client, a patient and the list can be never ending. We wear so many hats in a lifetime. Life is about so many things (like farm town HA HA HA) including relationships. But! Have you ever thought the relationship that lies inside of you with yourself?
For me, I have worked at my relationships with my friends and restoring old friendships that have meant so much to me. Facebook is where I found an old best friend 20 years ago and it is amazing to see where life brings us to different paths across time.

The reason why I bring this up is because it is so important to take the time to reflect on the relationship you have within yourself. Are you beating yourself up by filling your mind with sabotaging lies? When you look in the mirror, do you want to spit at the reflection looking back at you? Maybe you have abandon your wonderful self because you don’t think you are worthy of good things.

In all these cases, I have been there done that, and gotten the tee shirt. I bring this to light in hopes that you take the time to reflect on how precious you are as not only a person, but as a woman. Sometimes we see a distant goal and become discouraged. Discouragement comes as it clouds our minds and we take our eyes off the prize.
It all comes down to our thinking. It all comes down to our relationship within ourselves. What kind of yapping do you hear between me, myself, and I today? Are you guys speaking encouragement to each other? Do you need to restore your relationship with yourself? Become your own best friend today and start fresh and new. Today is a new day my friend!

Never Give Up!

2011-06-24T23:15:00.001-04:00

Her tiny blond curls bounced as she jumped up and down in pure excitement, self confidence, and pride. “MOMMY! I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!” My sweet Sophia’s exclaimed to me when she broke her first board in Taekwondo. I am so very proud of my little four year old for not giving up. You see, she tried to break the board two nights prior in class and at her dismay, she was unable to break through. Her tiny lips frowned and eyes filled with tears in her defeat of not accomplishing what she first set out to try.

She wanted to give up. She did give up. I explained that she needed to keep trying and to NEVER GIVE UP. I knew she could do it. I told her that I believed in her and I just wanted her to try again. Thank goodness she did try again! In her determination was victory. We can never achieve our goals if we give in to our fear of failing.

My encouragement to you today is to NEVER GIVE UP. Keep your eyes to the finish line and keep trying. Maybe you are going through a difficult time (much like I was a few posts ago). I have written this statement before, but it truly is powerful. “When you are going through hell, keep GOING.” Difficult times never last forever. We have good days and bad days. Its okay to not succeed at the first try. Its NOT okay to give up. So NEVER give up. Success and happiness is just waiting for you at the end.

His Love is Everlasting

2011-06-24T23:13:00.001-04:00

Psalm 136 “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.”

Have you really thought long and hard about this verse? God’s love for us is ever lasting! He never grows tired of you. He shelters you under His almighty wings of love. You are like a breath of fresh air to him. His love for you endures FOR-EVER!

How many times as mothers, we get tired of the demands of our children? It can drain you of your energy, your peace, and your patience. Thank God for GOD, because He NEVER gets tired of our demands! He longs to hear from us and for us to sit in the quietness of his presence.

Father,
Its says in your wonderful word to give thanks because your love is everlasting. So right now I humbly thank you for loving me, not only for today, but for all tomorrows. You love me just the way I am. You accept me for who I am and all my faults. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for your amazing love.
Amen

Apple of my Eye

2011-06-24T23:10:00.001-04:00

“Keep me as the apple of Your eye. Hide me in the shadow of your wings.” Psalms 17:8

This phrase “apple of my eye” is often referred to something as precious and dear the the heart. In the Hebrew translation from the holy scriptures it is referred as ‘reflection.” When we hold our son or daughter for the first time, we are looking at a reflection of us. This same thought is the way God sees us as a reflection of Him. He looks down at us and He sees a reflection of Him through his Son Jesus.

I think it is so awesome that God loves us so much and thinks that we are so precious that He sees us as His “precious reflection.” Our children are so precious to us. We have to many hopes and dreams for them. We shrug at the thought of them getting hurt or cringe at their first heartbreak. Know today how precious you are to Him as a daughter. He loves you and wants to lift you to a place to know how precious you are to Him. You are the apple of His eye.

Father,
As I watch in wonder at my children of how much I love them, in the same way, help me to know and understand how much You love me. Thank you for loving every single detail of me. Thank you for looking at me as your precious child.
Amen

Peace during Chaos

2011-06-24T23:06:00.002-04:00

“Peace I leave with you….Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

My life is filled with Chaos! My home is so loud filled with sibling fights and territorial battles of toys. My Caveman can act like a five year old at the worst times of the month when my hormones are are bouncing off the charts. Doing dishes and cooking is a challenge when they are so demanding of my time and energy “NOW” at the most inconvenient moments.

I am sure you can relate. During these chaotic times, we can feel out of control and not very peaceful. I remember a time when my husband had back surgery, he was home off work for several months and the slightest movements were so painful. He required my 24 hour assistance along with my 6 month old infant at the time. For months I drove my husband to the doctor and physical therapy appointments 3 times a week and was also trying to keep up with my sons appoints at the doctors as well. There were times when I felt absolutely alone and felt like I had no peace at all. When life gets beyond our control and it turns into chaos we need to look up to our Lord for help. Wonderful Peace is a hymn that I think of, it states:

Peace, peace wonderful peace
coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever I pray
In the fathomless billows of love!

He will never leave you nor forsake you. His peace is perfect in our times of sorrow. He will up hold you with His righteous hand and not let you go. You may feel like He is no where to be found, but He is there. It is His promise to us. Today you may feel like you are at your wits end and at the end of the rope. Maybe you are the other person who is on your mountain top and living a life full of peace!

As Moms we really run the show don’t we? Remember today that you are never alone. So many have been and may be going through difficult times, but we can have perfect peace in the storms of life.

My 1983 Nerd Self

2011-06-24T23:02:00.001-04:00

Something very unusual happened today. Before I divulge on the happenings, let me take you back to my life 26 years ago. I just had to recount the years on my fingers 4 times because I just can’t believe that I am THAT old.

The year was 1983 and I just moved to Florida from Baltimore. I was 12 years old. We moved in the middle of a school year, so I had to start all over making friends during the worst time of my life. (puberty) I was in the middle of transition between my childhood years and my teen years. I had a lot of friends up north and the thought of starting over being the new kid seemed like a nightmare. My reality wasn’t kidding because it was. People were different in the south. They interacted differently. They talked a heck of a lot more differently. I felt like I was sent to mars. That was how out of place I felt.

Somehow, it seemed to get a little bit better when my doorbell rang. I opened the door and it was two girls from my new school who were there to “greet” me. Mindy and Samantha weren’t really there to greet this nerd girl. They were there to see if I was prettier than one of them because one of them had a boyfriend.

(hhhmm I know 12 yr old love… snorts)

That is how I met Mindy. She admitted to me some years later that she was RELIEVED that I wasn’t attractive. This girl Mindy was the coolest girl in school. She was blonde, blue eyed, and was doing things that I had no idea what it was. I was always so worried of what she thought of me, instead I should have been worried of what I thought of myself. This was evident when I opened the door. I was so unsecured in myself and I based my entire self esteem for most of my teenage years on what was Mindy’s opinion.

Fast forward to 2010, I just got home from running errands. Turns out that Mindy has had a very difficult life. She never finished high school because she found out that she was pregnant in her senior year. The baby’s daddy is a low life abusive jerk who is now no where to be found. She’s been arrested for DUI and the rumors only get worse from there.

Don’t get me wrong. my heart went out to her and in fact she didn’t even recognize me. I felt so bad that I am glad she didn’t recognize me. A fat mother pushing age 40 in a year or two looks nothing like a nerdy 12 yr old girl who was just trying to fit into her surroundings.

If I knew now what I knew then, when I opened that door for the first time, I wonder if I would reacted the same way.

I wished I believed in my nerd self in 1983.

5 Great Ideas for Homework Time

2011-06-24T16:50:00.004-04:00

Tired of the never ending battles during homework? Do you feel like ripping out your hair in pure frustration over your child's lack of motivation? I have had my share of challenges with my children having a desire to learn and I have found a few suggestions that will help you getting your child back on track so that they can be successful in their school work.

1.) Designate a place for homework

Designate a place for the child to have of their own. Clear anything distracting so that the child can keep their focus and concentrate. Make it a quiet place where there are no interruptions. Make sure the televisions and radios are off. A child's imagination doesn't shut off when it is time for homework and studying. It is our job to make sure that they keep their minds focus and not want to see what Spongebob and Patrick are up to.

2.) Make it a fun and colorful place to work.

Create your child's work environment a colorful one. Themed and colorful pencils are easy and inexpensive ways to motivate your child to work. Decorate a pencil box with your child's favorite stickers. Have paper, scissors, and glue near by so that it can be easily accessible. Have your child think of a silly name for their special learning area. Go with what ever they decide even if it seems ridiculous and extreme. This will help them feel that they have ownership over their special place.

3.) Keep it a positive.

If you are carrying a negative attitude towards homework time, they will respond in return with negativity. Such feelings can lead to frustration and a never ending cycle of being non-productive. Be enthusiastic about this new work area. Enthusiasm and positivity are contagious. It is important to keep on a smile even when you don't feel like smiling. Children are incredibly intelligent and will pick up on any negative emotion.

4.) Reward their good works.

Find what motivates them and incorporate it with your homework time. If it is bike riding, outside time, or even video games, then have your child earn a segment of time to do these activities. Keep a chart or give them tokens of time to spend after they earn it from their hard work. Don't use food as a reward. Studies has shown that this is ineffective as it can lead to poor eating habits and can create an unhealthy relationship with food.

5.) Be consistent.

It is easy to give in and not be disciplined to motivate your child when you don't feel inspiring yourself. Be consistent in being positive and encouraging. You may not see the results of your hard labor at first, but in due time, you will eventually see it. There are countless resources available to help assist you. Your local library and schools are full of great ideas. There are thousands of websites and forums at your fingertips that are readily available. It just takes a few minutes of our time and effort to find them.

Following these 5 simple ideas can help your child turn it around in school! They are easy to do and the rewards are worth it for not only your child, but for you as well. Spending homework time doesn't have to be frustrating anymore. They grow up so fast and are in our care of such a short period of time. Cherish these times that you have with your children and make the best memories for both of you.

Classy with a "K" Behavior

2011-06-24T16:25:00.001-04:00

Are you kidding? Do you have any idea what a jerk you look like right now? I can’t WAIT until you embark on motherhood and your body contorts and grows in places you never imagined. These were thoughts of mine while sitting at the Pediatrics office this morning. I took my son in to see his Doctor because he has been sick for a couple days and wasn’t progressing to better health.

I guess I wasn’t the only one who was up all night because the waiting room was filled with moms like me who look like they have been through a war. They were looked tired, concerned, and yes like me, some were also carrying their baby weight still. Then there were a few mothers who obviously were there for their newborn check up.

These two clueless young nerds were Pharmaceutical Sale Representatives. They were dressed to the nines, I am sure from their maxed out credit cards on their mommy’s account. They were having this very loud haughty discussion about how fat women become after they have baby.

They must spell classy with a “k” because that is just how bad their behavior was…Klassless! If my son wasn’t with me I would have given them an ear full. From the look of the other mothers that were in the waiting room with me, I am confident that they all felt the same way.

Most of us probably had the same kind of night before. We weren’t in our best threads and certainly none of our makeup was looking fabulous nor was our hair doos, as we all sported the same mom pony tail for a quick fix as we all rushed out the door with our sick children. Then there were the other moms who just given birth probably that SAME week and trust me, they all have looked in the mirror when they got ready and wondered to themselves if they will ever look “normal” again.

Hearing these two nerds spout their poison just made me sick as I watched tired faces of new mothers sink into sadness and embarrassment. (Maybe I should have punched them or thrown poo at them!)

I have news for them, I might need a diet I NEED a diet badly, but at least I am not lacking social graces.
Dang how rude can you get and still breathe! I debated on whether I should have left them a business card so they can hear me rip them to shreds on my next podcast. (Passive aggressive is how I roll.)
What would you have done?

Tickle Me Elmo still reigns as king of toys

2011-06-24T16:11:00.001-04:00

Bring joy and excitement to your home with Tickle Me Elmo. This adorable toy has been on the market since 1996 and still reigns a winner as a great present for a child and even some adults too! Measuring at 15 inches tall, Elmo brings hours of fun with his infectious giggles. His bright red soft fur and big dreamy eyes makes him fun to cuddle with.

He has three interactive tickle spots on his chin, tummy, or toe. When one of these spots are triggered, Elmo slaps his belly, falls forward with his behind sticking out, stands back up again, falls backwards and kicks his legs over his belly.

The second time when his tickle spot is activated, he repeats the above patter, and then sits down, falls backwards and kicks his feet laughing harder. Then when he is tickled for the third time, he rolls over onto his tummy, thumping his hand on the floor in laughter.

While he is laughing, Elmo says many phrases such as “I got tickled!” “You did it again!” “Again! Again!” “Give Elmo a break, please!” and “I can’t stop laughing!”

Six AA batteries may easily be changed on the bottom of his feet. Parents will be happy to know that he also has an on and off button so if your child would want to sleep with him, they wouldn’t wake up startled by Elmo’s giggles and movement. Not to mention when parents need that peace and quiet.

This unique Fisher Price toy may be found in stores everywhere as well as online websites such as Ebay and Amazon. Prices may vary depending on where purchased. Be assured to know that this is a great toy to purchase and will be played with continuously for non stop fun.

Old Wrinkled Love

2011-06-24T15:56:00.001-04:00

I was half listening to a service in church last Sunday when I was distracted by the older couple sitting near by me. Something odd about them that caught my eye and it completely perplexed me and then I was filled with admiration, envy, amazement, and jealously. They were holding hands. It was a beautiful sight to behold actually. Her frail hand under and his wrinkled hand was on top of hers embracing fully and caressing hers. Their knees were touching too. (how cute was that!)

It was a sight that you hardly would ever see. To me it was like a moment when someone sees a falling star out of the sky above. As I watched and was completely ignoring the sermon from the pulpit like a good follower of Christ, I thought how awesome this was. I am sure you are thinking what is the big deal with two old people holding hands. Well being a married lady of 14 years, my husband and I can now say we are an old married couple. We love each other very much and our love has matured and grown even more since we had children. We do however take each other for granted and don’t cherish every moment as we had vowed when we were first married. Pleasantries have faded and we don’t snuggle as we once did when we were dating. Once in a while we do, but we are extremely used to each other because we have been together for 14 years.

This 8Th wonder of the world sitting next to me was a sight to behold because obviously they love each other very much after being together for so long. (I am assuming yes). Was it love at first sight? I wonder if they fight? Do you think she yells at him if he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor or if she lovingly picks up after him and chuckles as she shakes her head? I wonder if they ever had to flip a coin to choose which bill to pay. Maybe they have faced such horrible times with job losses, an empty pantry, and/or bury special loved ones. Maybe they had to go through something horrific as bury their child? They have celebrated countless holidays together. What is their secret? Is it the love and faith that they have for God that keeps them strong and abiding in love together?

What a beautiful sight to behold, a love that has lasted through the sadness and pain that life can dish out to us. Life can dish out some doozies can’t it? The emptiness in our hearts that leave us feeling alone. We can react with anger, astonishment and / or fear. We can carry this burden for years to come. (ahem…I am referring to myself here of course)

I can only pray that our grows to the status that maybe one day we can behold the attention of a nosey observer like me in 20 years. God bless them!!

Rip those Labels off Baby! Rip Em!

2011-06-24T08:07:00.003-04:00

Imagine this, You’re attending a festive party, the music is soft in the background, laughter of old and new friends tickle your ears, and sweet aromas of gourmet deserts dance in your nose. Newly arrived attendees are greeted with an excited “HEY!” when they walk through the door. The hostess runs around frantically trying to keep all guests happy then suddenly the door bell rings and the room falls silent. Faint whispers are heard in a confused tone. Bug-eyed stares are all on the lady standing in the door way.

She’s the girl who fell and tore Picasso’s famous painting called, The Actor. Funny and sad thing is, this girl is always going to have this label. No matter where she goes, her wedding day, and even her funeral. There will be chatter about how she was in an art class and she fell and tore Picasso’s painting. Wouldn't it suck to be her? Yum, Yah. Here is a link to that story. Sad thing is it was a pure accident.Then there are those who do things on purpose.

It’s like Tonya Harding. Forget that she was a talented skater and even made it to the Olympics. That girl has been labeled for life as an evil jealous nerd who wanted to rid the Ice World of Nancy Kerrigan. No matter how many attempts she tries to make it right in the eyes of the world, she will always have a tarnished reputation. The list goes on even more. From boxers biting ears off others (hello Mike Tyson) to televangelists double dipping in the offering plate, and to even politicians like those who have a thing for interns to others who can’t spell potatoe potato.

We all do things we aren’t proud of. Trust me, I have a closet full of them. I have good news for you today. Even though we are full of labels, there is one who doesn’t see labels but sees us for who we really are. God looks at us with different eyes. Practically impossible to understand just how He sees us with such love is beyond me.

I hope that one day I can obtain that super power gift. It is an awesome one to have. To see past one who has done awful or crazy things and then be able to mentally rip off the labels on people and see them for who they are. Forgive them fully. Letting the past go and moving on is a powerful tool. It’s something I want to strive for.

“Even God doesn’t plan to judge a man till the end of his days, why should you and I?” Abe Lincoln.

Terrifying Suburbs

2011-06-23T17:17:00.001-04:00

It was a cool evening in my suburban neighborhood. A beautiful sunset was finally resting making the Tampa Bay sky dance with many colors in pink, orange, and purple tones. Neighbors walk their dogs by my home are enjoying the breeze and listing to the wind blow through the palm trees. It is such a quiet hushing sound that calms any one from a stressful day. Suddenly, the neighbors slow down and finally stop in front of my house looking at each other in horror wondering if they should be calling the police. The noise gets louder and clearer!

An ear piercing scream emerges from my home. What on earth could be going on in that house they whisper to each other.I'll tell you what is going on! Its bath time. Sophia my 3 1/2 year old screams her head off and runs around in the bath tub like some rabid raccoon foaming out of the mouth when I try to wash her hair. It is no other ordinary scream. Not a mere - "ah" scream. This is a scream from the pits of hell can bust your ear drum and send chills down your spine scream.

As I wrestle with this little lady I think of what tactic that I haven't tried yet. I have tried to sucker her into washing her babies hair while I wash her hair. I have tried to distract her and lie to her that butterflies were on the ceiling so she can keep her head still long enough. I have tried the "science project" approach so she can watch her hair drizzle down magical bubbles. I can see why some moms get their little girls hair cut. Sophia has long beautiful natural curls and ringlets. I am afraid if I cut her hair, her sweet curls will not return, as mine did not when I was her age.

I pray that one day she stops the drama in the tub and sucks it up to handle it like a real woman for beauty! It has become my absolute least favorite routine in my day. I am sure that my neighborhood wonders if I beat the kids. Nope, its just bath time. After I am finished with this hoedown and finally get the hello kitty nightgown on my little princess, I crash on my sofa in exhaustion from battle.

I get the phone calls from my girlfriends without kids (yes you people) and I usually sound like a total idiot and give a mere explanation like a super mom...."oh nothing new here going on just giving Sophia a bath.....so what is new with you? " Little do they know that it only took 45 minutes to get the soap out of her hair. A total moving target if you must know. I think that I deserve a medal. Yes I said it. I think that all moms should get a medal for putting up with this crazy nonsense.

A Dirty Lil' Secret about ME

2011-06-23T17:16:00.001-04:00

Wanna hear a dirty secret about me? I am a habitual housework dodger. I am the most distracted mom on the block by far. My house is paying for it. I don't mind doing laundry, its just the putting away part is my problem. I can pick up the dishes and have clean counter tops and a table. Its the DOING the dishes that I am not fond of. Lord knows I LOVE my vacuum, I hate to mop. I can tell you flat out right now that there is nothing good for me about picking up toys. I used to be a clean freak. I am so amazed that I had a spotless house (most of the time) when I was changing both kids in diapers.
So what I am doing here again? I'll tell you. I am avoiding housework. Yep. I admit it. At least that is what they say; Admiting is the first step right? I took note of my thought process today noticing just what I am doing to keep me from not cleaning. For instance, just before I came here to blog this topic, I poured a cup of coffee and decided to let it cool and in the thought of multi-tasking I decided that I would sweep the kitchen to vacuum up the little piles of grub so I can mop afterwards. I immediately after a few sweeps smell the arouma and think.... ah... I think a sip of my delicious coffee won't burn me.

So I put the broom down and sip. SIP.... my eyes fall to a magazine that I had been meaning to read and I immediately say to myself .... what broom... sweep where? I take the magazine over to my living room and plop on the sofa and kick back in my recliner. My hand bumps into the remote next to me. Wait! what time is it? Oh but of course! My soap is on! So I grab the blanket next to me which spills off the magazine that I had been meaning to read on to the floor. It lands and lays along the side other books and papers from school that too ended up in the same manner wince the magaine just did.

Commerical comes and I don't dare waste my time on such non-sense. Oh! look there is my coffee in the kitchen. I have to reheat it. It's still fresh. I pop it in the microwave for a minute and turn and see my broom leaning there against the wall just nagging the heck out of me to sweep up to yet prepare to vacuum the room. I trip over one of the kids toys and walk it over to their hallway and just throw it in one of their rooms. They are big enough to clean their own rooms. Heck I have a whole house to clean. I walk back into the kitchen and begin to sweep. God I am such a great home mother taking care of her family and home. BEEP BEEP BEEP... ut! Coffee is ready! I embrace my mom mug and feel warm steam on my face. What's that sound? Erica Cain spouting off a speech to Bianca, her lesbian daughter about Reese who is her woman that is suspected of cheating with her sister's husband? I better hurry and get in there. I don't wanna miss that!

So there you have it. a snipit of my dirty secret. In the mean time I yet avoid my houswork to blog to you my readers while the dust keeps piling. I am awesome. Simply awesome.

The Power of the Sticker.

2011-06-23T17:09:00.001-04:00

"That's my ball!"
- "No Sophia that's MMMMYYY BBBAAALLL" (whine)
(screechy scream from the 3 year old girl)
More screams now from both...

Back door opens and the little people with attitudes enter. I am extremely irritated but keep my cool until both of them erupt and talk at the same time and begin to try to talk on top of each other. They continue to get LOUDER as moments pass.

I raise my hands and declare my mom power and demand silence by saying "ENOUGH!" Then, I demand that they better get along so that they can earn their stickers for the day.

Little faces fall silent and big eyes stare back at me as they keep their mouths shut. They appear to about to explode wanting to state their case before the judge.

I solve all problems when I don't want to fool with them by a command of "Go to your rooms!" They both go to Ryan's room and slam the door behind them. I return to my dear husband in the living room who is sitting on the couch enjoying his day off from work. We pause our trash reality tv show to hear muffled little voices.

The little voices become louder as well as bangs against the walls. Sibling fights breaks out and mom hears nothing. Dad becomes extremely irritated. Mom thinks nothing of it and calls it normal around here. He demands both kids "front and center" like little soldiers. The wounded siblings with sad faces come out in defeat shuffling their sweet shoes across the tile floor with their heads hung low.

The commander and chief instructs that the children must behave and play nicely in the room or all hell will loose upon them. The Yes Sirs come from good intentions of a second chance. They march back into the room and shut the door. United together we hear loud banging coming from the room where the little soldiers are.

Husband turns to me and says, "What are they building a bomb in there? ...Some William Aires action happening in the room or what?' I shrug my shoulders. After all I am immune to such behavior since this happens daily. Concerned, the father gets off his throne and emerges to the room of the little soldiers with good intentions.

Door opens and little faces look up sweetly at him. "Good Job Guys" dad says proudly to them. The little voices mutter something back to him as he shuts the door and returns to his couch with a grin. I inquire of what is happening. He replies that they are cleaning the room together. I ask what they said to him.

Chuckling he says, ... "They want their sticker for the day."

Ah, the Power of the stickers. LOVE IT.

Car Circle of Love

2011-06-23T17:08:00.001-04:00

"Ok Ryan HURRY and unbuckle your car seat"

I unbuckle mine so I can lean over and open the door for him.
He climbs over to the front seat and I pull closer to the car circle drop off.

"Come on people! Its the pedal on the right." The cars inch closer to the drop off end. I kiss my sweet boy on the head and give a squeeze as I as say the quickest prayer for him that would impress any professional auctioneer's ears. He holds his Cars backpack in his lap and I again roll my eyes at the zombie safety guards starring back at me. Come on! Can't you kids open doors like they do at Curtis Fundamental? Now those kids are on their A-game. This drives insane daily. The office staff chat with each other and ignore the little people that can't open the door.

Whatever! I get out of the car and walk around to open the door for my kindergartner. My little day dreamer jumps out and kisses me goodbye and shrug off his sweet little love and demand that he GO! GO! GO! He must not be late again!

At that moment I realize how ridiculous I look in my p.j.'s and my leopard print slippers with no makeup and my hair a total wreck. After all what is a car circle for if you can't have the luxury of dropping your child off and not have to worry about getting ready for yourself. I quickly dart back in and catch the glances of the mom behind me. Obviously a working mother... she looks all dolled up as I used to be when I had a life.

I catch her eye brow in a raise and give her the acceptable "my bad" wave and move my car in the drive lane to leave. Pulling around the corner I see my son standing there watching me leave as he does every day. I roll my window down and yell "Go on Ryan! Get to class! .... Mommy loves you! " Almost as if he waits to hear this speech daily he turns around and skips onward toward his class.

I pull up and stop contineously in the exit line about a dozen times. I wave and say my goodmorings to my friends by waving to them as they are en-route to drop their kids off as I just did. This is sometimes the most social interation that stay at home moms can get and is a very important interaction for moms like me. Pathetic isn't it?

When I enter the parking lot of the car circle I hold awesome power in whether or not to let in other cars in front of me. I usually do, but I have to admit, there are times when I just don't look their way and keep moving. I always let in my fellow mother friends. Its an unspoken rule that must be followed by all
.
Right about when I start to exit the school, the three year old fires up and demands that she wants to hear "its a small world" on her Disney CD for the millionth time. Talk about a good idea for torture tactics at Gitmo!

So there you have it. The life of the mom in the car circle.

Potty Talk!

2011-06-23T16:59:00.001-04:00

My adorable five year old son walks into my office where I am here just blogging my heart out to you readers. He says proudly, "Mommy! I did DAMN good on this chicken!" My right eye brow raises and I pause wondering if I just heard him correctly. Yep. He said DAMN alright. "O.K. Ryan you are an awesome chicken eater for sure! BUT I just want to let you know that Damn is a bad word in this house and we can't use it."

I don't dare ask him where he learned his new word. I KNOW where he learned it. Me. (or his dad the caveman). Probably Me. Ok so I take complete and full responsibility for his slip up. BUT this has not been his only honest slip up either. In preschool when He was 3 1/2, I picked him up from the car circle and proudly told me he called Renula (yes that is her name) a hooker. I knew where he learned that word too. From me. It is an adjective that I use to endearing girlfriends. I prefer it to "bitches" this trendy slang I have heard for years and gained huge popularity with ever plastic Paris Hilton.

Coming to a clear understanding now that I need to put an end to my lazy grammar, I have made a clear vow to curtail my vulgar chatter. After this post enters the cyber world I am even going to edit a few blogs previously and clean up the naughty language.

To tame the tongue is going to be a difficult one for me. After all I do hang out with mostly Deputies who have the dirtiest mouths ever. (yes you do and you know it). It is no excuse and I am making a big effort to not swear anymore. So if you do catch me in a slip or two please don't make me feel bad.

After all, it is hard to put a leash on my obnoxious mouth.

Was I raised by wolves or am I just a late bloomer?

2011-06-23T16:54:00.001-04:00

Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining. WHERE is it today because I am having a very hard time finding it. My heart is heavy and I keep sucking the tears back into my eye sockets. Stay strong! I have told myself all morning. I have searched in my memory reminding me of self help chatter from my years of therapy. Of course I have been in therapy can't you tell! I hear my critics saying that I should still be in therapy. I probably should be.

Funny thing about therapy, I learned that you see just how sick not only you are...but you see just how sick everyone is. It took me years to learn to keep my obnoxious mouth shut and stop pointing out what I learned that week. Ridiculous I was! How I have grown - one would be so proud to know just how far I have come. If you see me biting my lip when you go off on a tangent ... then you'll know that I am just keeping my mouth shut.

The past few years have been difficult witnessing my parents divorce after 39 years. To see my mom suffer in a way to have to deal with such baggage really sucks frankly. I love her dearly. She is one of the most amazing and awe inspiring people you would ever have the pleasure to meet. After raising me and praying me through many troubled teen years - she put herself through school making straight "A's." She then continued onward and earned her masters degree with high honors again. She has facilitated groups at the blind center and counseled many in need searching a way to cope with the loss of their sight. She has written and published a curriculum and currently is President Elect of a prestigious club for Therapists and Mental Health Counselors. ..... Did I mention that she is blind herself? She is beautiful inside and out.

My awesome mom continues her important work and has touched so many lives as a true example of how to come out shining even when their world grows dark. Living proof that life isn't over - she dazzles around with her optimistic attitude. She even continues onward positively in spiteof her current battles with my cheese puff father. This is something that this obnoxious soul did not inherit from her mommy. I do not have that kind of grace. At least not yet.

My pessimistic obnoxious attitude keeps my blinders on from seeing the silver lining. I am a total fool and I pray that one day I wise up and take after my mothers amazing attributes. Maybe I am a late bloomer. I'm in my late 30s....maybe my bloom is on the horizon. It could happen. :)

Or was I just raised by wolves?

My DVR is set to the Fit Channel.

2011-06-23T16:18:00.002-04:00

Its a fact and is no secret that I could stand to lose some soup cans on my body. I know that. For a girl that has a trophy for being the most "fit girl" in middle school....you would never guess it was mine. I have great excuses to not join a gym. It stems from child daycare to my husbands schedule. I just don't give a crap anymore. I really don't. I am sick of the way society has brain washed women to measure themselves to unrealistic portions and airbrushes. I would hate to be a young girl during this age. I find beauty in ALL shapes of people. In fact... if you know me - you will know that I don't judge people by their outside but who they are on the inside. The true beauty lies beneath the skin.

I keep thinking that I can't use the pregnant excuse anymore because they are now 6 and almost 4. Talk about a double standard....I never received more compliments than when I was carrying a basketball around and looked like a tired hag bag lady. I was beautiful! Sigh....so now I am just a tired bag lady.

I love to watch the Fit TV channel. I have even recorded shows and planned on following along with these surgically improved - lippo- implanted fit freaks. After the kids go to bed .... I finish up to prepare for the next day and by then I am exhausted and DVR my previously recorded show and with all intentions to start.... I sit and watch. Then I think...I am just tired and maybe if I get something to eat - then I can start.

Well you know how distracted I get (my dirty little secret blog). It just doesn't happen. I blog. I facebook. I talk and chat with friends. Instead of getting rid of my excessive pregger weight...oh thats been there for the last 6 years.

Maybe when Sophia starts school full time .... I might consider a "lifestyle change." Until then ..... love me for who I am today. I do.

My Wonder Woman Underoos

2011-06-23T16:12:00.001-04:00

So there I was about the age of nine years old all decked out in my wonder woman under-roos with my homemade tiara and bullet proof brackets. Positioning myself on top of the couch in my basement in Baltimore, I stretched out my hands and thought, "I AM WONDER WOMAN! and wonder woman is gonna FLY!"

Bravely, I took my leap of faith and yep you guess it I took a total nose dive (literally) and didn't get airborne. Disappointed, confused, and in pain, I stood up and did only what a woman of her strength and dignity would do, I stood up tall with my head up high and put my hands on my hips and announced to my awesome collection of my seventies toys that "I am OK because I am Wonder Woman!"

That is so me to this day. I have taken so many nose dives and gotten hurt. I have pick myself up and dusted off the shame, guilt, and peoples nasty opinions and I stand tall and scream, "HA! I am here and still Obnoxious!"

Who wouldn't want to be Wonder Woman? She is the total package of what the coolest chick could be. She is strong, beautiful, (in and outer beauty of course), and can pick up men and toss them like tissues into foam walls. At this very second I have my very faded Wonder Woman tee shirt on. YEP! I have the very dusted not just one, but TWO sets of the total season of her show. People knew what I wanted for Christmas a few years ago!

Although I am not standing on top of my couch anymore taking nose dives, I am kicking butt as an obnoxious mom, handling one problem at a time!

Rise and Shine or Sink and Rust

2011-06-23T16:10:00.001-04:00

My morning started out in the same fashion. I open my eyes to two little people demanding everything under the sun. My bladder is about to bust and I shew the kids away before I really regret getting out of bed. Thank GOD I made it in the bathroom! I shut the door behind me as it pushes the kids on the other side who are trying to get in with me. The door slams and the kids have their cue to cry and whine. I turn my mom ears off to the noise and wonder if I have any coffee made.

A few minutes later I open the door and find the helpless whiny children on the floor waiting for me like a bunch of homeless people outside of a homeless shelter looking for their next meal. I get my hugs and kisses and greet them like a good mother would do, by putting the nice mom voice on and suggest that we go in the kitchen to find something to eat. My kids transform from being homeless little street rats to happy hopeful little darlings and skip and praise their all powerful mother. (ME)

After breakfast, I get myself and kids ready for the day. I remind the children to please go to the bathroom before we leave and I announce that I will not be wiping any behinds today. We say hello to Capt. Caveman who just returned home from work as we leave for school. The little darlings lose their title and turn into monsters as the daily fight breaks out over who is going to be the line leader out the door to the car. Me being a powerful mom, remembers who the line leader was the day before and therefore I bestow the power to the new line leader so we can leave for the day.

Off we go to school and my son asks me like the sweet boy he is if I would walk him instead of going to the car circle. I look at him in the rear view mirror and think to myself that in a couple of years he won't want anything to do with me so I better take him up on his offer. Dodging the crazy car circle I switch lanes to park in the school parking lot and find the only empty space available. Ha! I am in luck, I think to myself. I open the door and I see that I park between to large trucks that have given me no room to open my doors. "GREAT! This is going to suck big time!"I blurt. As I back out and try for another section my kids lose their minds and remind me that I have to walk to class today and I was leaving the school. I look in the rear view mirror and argue with the little people that I wasn't leaving but looking for another spot.

The three year old breaks out into tears as I enter the next section and see a space available in the very full parking lot. Unfortunately, a mom had her eye on it and had claimed it with her turn signal before me! NOW I am stuck in the parking lot blocking parents that are trying to back out all because my sweet boy asked me to walk him to class. I begin to fume and start to yell at my rear view mirror because my little darlings are getting louder by the second in their demands that I need to park. Oh great. I am blocking the nice lady who manages dog store where I go frequently to get dog food .... and she is now yelling at me not knowing its me she is upset with. Yep. She noticed now and saw me. I start to yell at my rear view mirror and pretend that I don't see her so she may have pity on me. I do this in hopes that she is thinking that I am not a complete idiot and I hope that she tapes into her momness so it won't become awkward next time I am in her store.

After a very long minute I get a spot and the little darlings jump down from my S.U.V. We walk to class and I act like everything is peachy keen and no drama just occurred outside. By the time I kiss my kindergartner goodbye I return with my whiny 3 year old to the car and find that my car is one of the only cars left in the previously crowded parking lot. I sigh and kiss my little girl as I strap her in her seat and shrug off the embarrassment. After all it is just a typical morning.

What NOT to do while waiting in the car circle at school.

2011-06-23T16:05:00.001-04:00

Picture it, I am in line waiting to move every inch or two by the minute. To ease my troubled 3 year old, I say "Oh Hey! Guess who is behind us? Your friend Oliva and her mommy is in the car behind us!"

- My little Sophia is strapped tightly in her car seat and immediately RAGES into pure excitement and tries to contort her tiny body to get out of the restrainsts to see her friend in the car behind us.

Her excitement turns into madness and the fun thought is now a nightmare because she realizes that she is STUCK in her seat. Tears and fits arise. I roll the windows up to lesson any embarrassment and pretend it is the car next to me.

What can you learn from this?

If the child can not get out of the seat to turn around to see who is behind you, DON'T mention it!

I am in the WRONG line of work

2011-06-23T16:02:00.001-04:00

I should be a lawyer. Honestly! I have become very good at rephrasing the questions I ask my children. Take for instance, just now on the way home from school. My son got in the car and announced that he has a note in his back pack from the teacher. Alarmed and shocked because my sweet boy NEVER gets in trouble with a note home, I asked him what happened.

He says he yelled in the lunch room. My son is loud like his parents so I find great compassion inside of me because he can't help himself, its inherited. He can't help it if he is obnoxious like his mom and dad. Poor thing. Inquiring what happened, he becomes extremely vague and you'll be impressed to see my new talent of how I get the information when I rephrase the questions. Here is a snippet of our conversation:

Me - What happened today in the lunch room?
Son - I yelled.
Me - What did you yell about?
Son - I screamed.
Me - What WORDS did you say when you screamed?
Son - I don't know.
Me - When you raised your voice in the lunch room, what words came out of your mouth?
Son - I chirped like a chicken.
Me - Demonstrate to me the words you used when you chirped like a chicken in the lunch room.

(I will refrain from demonstrating here )

Eventually, he fessed up. But I noticed that I am missing my calling. I may need to re-think this stay at home thing. If I can get a 6 year old to talk, I can get any witness on the stand to admit his or her wrong also!

My Secret Super Power

2011-06-23T16:00:00.002-04:00

I realized that I have a superpower and I am sure some of you do too. I can turn my mom ears off to annoying whines and noises. Why on earth is this a "super power" you may ask? WELL, frankly because some people have to hear it when I choose not to.It is so funny that I can write this blog and completely ignore the blood shed and curdling screams going on in the other room just so I can convey this stupid thought to you. The sound waves bounce off my supermom force shield and I appear unaffected.

You can detect these secret agents in a crowd though. In a crowded room with annoying babies crying and children screaming in glee jumping around, the supermoms are the ones oblivious to any kind of disruption, while those without kids have their face controted, eyes in a glare with a death ray stare, and their mouth agape wide open to wonder why the lady next to these bouncing babes is not affected and doing anything. They all think the same thing, "when I have kids, I will NEVER be that kind of mom and my children are going to be well behaved little angels and not make a peep."

I am one of these super heros. I am Mom.... Supermom actually. My mom auto pilot comes on and it appears that I actually CARE what is happening with
them as my mouth moves and says vague answers such as, "too bad, sweetie, ... we'll
have to take a look at it later dear." Suckers. (ha ha!) The little people thing think that they can break me down, but they don't know who they are messing with.

I am Super Mom. (DA TEM DAH!) (Que the Superman score by John Williams please.)

Have a Happy Sandwich :)

2011-06-23T15:58:00.001-04:00

What was that? WHAATS a "happy sandwich" you ask? Its not what your are thinking with a mere smily face on top. To make a happy sandwich, alot goes into it.

Step 1) Pic a Happy thought

Step 2) Grab the happy thoughts and put them tightly in your fists

Step 3) Shake your happy thoughts to stir up the joy

Step 4) Turn around 3 times and don't let go of your happy thoughts

Step 5) Open your fists and sprinkle it into the sandwich.

ENJOY Your Happy Sandwich!

This is how I get my kids to eat any thing. It can be a happy chicken dish, happy burger, and / or even happy veggies. Sounds nuts, but hey... it works for me! :)

Top 10 Reasons to Hire ME!!

2011-06-23T15:56:00.001-04:00

10.) I will be on time always because I am up bright and early. My six year old is an early riser and is up at 5:00 am everyday (even weekends).

9.) I would be extremely enthusiastic because I am not used to being around adults and it is a pure treat for me. I am almost “honored”

8.) I have an extensive language skill. I speak not only English, but I am FLUENT in Baby-nees.

7.) I would be a great asset to your Team because I am not afraid to get my hands dirty! Currently my position title is “Designated Butt Wiper”. (And I have been pee’d on a few times as well)

6.) I can pull an all nighter! At my current job I have stayed up many times with my associates caring for them. Even when I have been sick myself.

5.) I can bring creativity to your team! I have been hands on with art projects almost daily for the last six years!

4.) I'm immune to WHINING.

3.) You won’t have to worry about my personal and professional appearance. I only shower when I leave the house!

2.) Did I mention I am cute?

1.) I am the ICON of a Desperate Housewife. So if you don’t hire me, I will Google you and stalk you until you do.

Where's my Medal?!

2011-06-23T15:54:00.001-04:00

Where is my Medal?! Truly I deserve one after putting up with my four year old daughter in the Grocery Store. She is like a mini me on steroids. She is FULL of "sas" and she is way cuter than I am. It is a good thing she is cute to by the way. She get away with murder for sure. Its all my fault, you know. I created a Monster. A cute Monster. Nonetheless, she is a little Monster.

We pull up to the store and even before I put the car in park, she insists that she is getting her cookie from the bakery. I explain that if she is a good girl, I can get her a cookie.

(Nothing like rewarding good behavior with food.... what can I say! I didn't have any stickers around. )

As I help her into the cart, she begins her journey with a good whine that she can't snap her safety belt together. We pass by the floral center and we point out which flowers she likes and I let her smell a few arrangements.

(embarrassed, I haul it outta there because she pulled a pedal off a lovely daisy.)

My little angel puts in her request for fish crackers. I honor her request, because I will do anything to keep her quiet and satisfied when I am blogging. She insists that she holds the two package of fish crackers.... OVER the side of the cart. I tell her that if she drops one, she will not get to hold them.

My little sack of sugar squints her eyes and smirks as she looks at me while she drops the fish crackers over the cart to see what I will do. Momma sticks to her guns and I take the fish crackers away. She then drops her pink crock shoes off and I looking like a complete idiot (or more so) pick them up and stupidly put them back on her feet.

She drops them off her feet again and then laughs this amused giggle as I pick the shoes up again and this time I place them (like a MOM CHAMP that I am) in the lower part underneath the cart. The defeated princess lost that battle and I grin in victory as I pass by the coffee and creamers.

After her defeat, she attacks my stomach with her feet trying to shove me as I am trying to push the cart. I knock her painted toes down with one fatal swoop and I threaten, "You better stop or NO Max and Ruby!" (score for mom!) She frowns.

Finding that her battle plans aren't working well for her, she begins the suck-up routine. I hear how much she loves me and wants to snuggle (in the armpit of course) and she can't wait to have a snuggle and a book read at home later.)

I give in to the suck-up strategy and give her the shoes and fish crackers back. My little princess charms the cashier and bag person with her curls and sweet giggles. They compliment to me how well behaved and darling she is. I thank them as I chuckle thinking that if you ONLY knew the war that just raged in this store.

I fought my battle hard! So where is my medal

Breakfast with a friend and my wolf child diva.

2011-06-23T15:52:00.001-04:00

"Stop putting cheese on Mommy's friend!...She doesn't want to eat your chicken either...Sophia! Get your stinky feet off the table!" yah. That was my breakfast conversation with my daughter this morning with not only my 4 year old daughter, but also a sweet new friend that I have made at our son's school. Her name is Brandi and both of our boys are in the same class. We hardly get a chance to really catch up and I was hoping to get a good girl gab in successfully, but it failed on behalf of my ill behaved attention seeking drama queen diva daughter, Sophia.

My new friend probably thinks I am the worst mom in the world for having such a bad kid. Brandi is probably thinking right now, "Poor Sophia,....she is raised by wolves.... " Ha!

Why can't I have a decent stress free breakfast with out worrying if my little girl is acting like a wolf-child by shoving her food in my friends face, wanting to share her food with her?

Thank GOD Brandi is a total angel and has kids herself. My child-free friends probably wouldn't take too kindly having cheese shoved up their noses by Sophia. Yep, after this mornings breakfast, I think I am going to have to go to the mall and have a medal made for Brandi for surviving breakfast with my wolf child.

What makes a good wife?

2011-06-23T15:49:00.001-04:00

"You're going to be a good wife." I was told when I scooted a chair under my desk at my high school. (don't ask .... she is lame today as she was back then) Being that I seem to be on this "good wife" kick, this particular moment came to mind. I have been thinking on what exactly makes a good wife anyway?

Is it because I pick up every ones dirty underwear? Is it because I clean the house (I eventually do people!), or is it because I cook all day in the kitchen? Maybe it is because I know when to keep my mouth shut and listen when caveman is venting and/or maybe because I am the care taker and nurse everyone back to health, even if I am at deaths door myself?

What makes a good wife? I am so not June Cleaver or Donna Reed for that matter, but they truly portrayed an image that isn't seen enough today. (in my opinion) Don't get me wrong. I think that some of that stuff is just utter ridiculousness. BUT! My friends June and Donna makes a good point in putting an extra effort in homemaking.

Today we are too involved in "right fighting" over who's turn or chore it is today. We are so involved in our feminist movement refusing to be portrayed as the old fashioned icon who tends to her family, forgetting the very reason why we take care of our home. What is that reason, you might be asking?

Simple. Because we love them. We go through the extra trouble because we love our family. I embrace my apron! I think that the 1950s classic look is one that we should seek after again. NO! not the poodle skirts you silly readers. I am referring to taking care of ourselves. Such as Dressing up and not just for dinner. Whats so wrong with wearing pearls everyday?! I love pearls. I know I shouldn't avoid housework so much. I do enjoy thinking and spending time here with you. Its all about having balance in your life. Knowing when to say yes and knowing when to say no. We are in continuous need to look after everyone else, the ones that go on the wayside is us.

I think I know what makes a good wife. It is being good to ourselves first. Because as you know, if Momma ain't happy, no ones happy.

Morning Thoughts and Reflections

2011-06-23T15:46:00.001-04:00

It is a very early Friday morning here in Tampa Bay, Florida. The sun is on the rise to begin a new day. I hear a few birds outside singing and chatting with each other. My children are still in bed and I am enjoying peace and quiet.

I have contemplated to get a head start on dishes or laundry. NNAAhh!! This is merely a passing thought and you people know that I love to avoid housework. Maybe I should go to my kitchen and turn on the coffee pot? Forget it! To risk waking up the little monsters isn't worth ruining this tranquil morning!

God how do I miss getting a shower in the morning to start the day. I also thought about hopping in and getting a relaxing shower while the tiny people aren't banging my bathroom and screaming for me. But NO. I don't risk waking them up for my long over due shower either.

So, I am spending my morning here with you. Writing nonsense to you fine people. I should just crawl back in bed. BUT guess who is there? It's the demanding tiny people who I am avoiding in the first place.

You know what I want? I want to have background music playing such as a score from John Williams when I am bouncing around my home taking care of my family. It's in my head when I am running from room to room managing my home. I only wished that everyone else could hear it too.

Huh? The birds aren't singing anymore.... ut oh. The six year old just woke up..... and here comes the 4 year old.

Que the music. I am getting my coffee now.

Cyber Church

2011-06-23T15:43:00.001-04:00

A big thunderous praise of hallelujahs broke forth as pigs flew over our heads when we entered church today. Yes, we attended a church service today. Okay, so that is a bit exaggerated. For someone who used to practically lived inside of a church, I am the worst attendee in the congregation.

Amazingly though, we weren't struck by lighting from above for our lack of attendance. Thankfully, I know that He doesn't look at my record of visits over the condition of my relationship with Him. Otherwise, we would be in BIG trouble here. I enjoyed the service at my families church service today. The music was inspiring, the message was well spoken, and people were friendly as usual.

I am just a lazy church goer. I think I would rather have cyber church.

Everyone could link up and watch the service from our comfortable homes while in our pajamas.

You can eat breakfast or have your coffee while your kids are acting like the little monsters they are and no "shhhing" or dirty looks from other judgmental moms would be required.

I could say something back to the screen if I completely disagree or if their views are flat out WRONG.

I could exit out of the screen instead of having to deal with hearing more opinions when I would be ready to leave.

If I had to go pee pee... I wouldn't have to go through 20 people in the isle where 1000 eyes would be staring at me knowing that I had to pee pee.

They could set up a pay pal account for an offering. I am sure someone would give. (maybe a buck or two.)

Before you guys get your panties in a wad. I used to be the biggest church attendee. I served on leadership boards, done mission trips overseas, sang in many different groups, and spent many sobbing cries at the alter. I am basically the chick who's been there done that and got the tee shirt.

My faith would be just as strong as it would be if I attended in person. I just wouldn't have to deal with ... you know... church people. I come from a family of Pastors and Ministers. The walls are different, the people are the same.

So whats next? Should I go back again next week. Probably. Will I go next week? Probably not. I am really liking this cyber church idea. I am sure its out there.

Google here I come.

I am one with my Nerd Self

2011-06-23T15:40:00.001-04:00

I used to be cool. People used to look up to me for "coolness" and I would supply the cool to those thirsty for the cool that they were searching for. I used to be a skinny beautiful young girl who would carry a bat, beating off all the stupid boys who were vying for my attention.

I wasn't suffering from lack of dates. I used to carry a date planner and it was packed full of whats his faces numbers. Then, it all ended. I met my Captain Caveman.

We met at church actually. The first thing I said to him was "Satan pooped in my Wheaties." (I'm not kidding. How pathetic was I?) I was having a bad day and I was sulking on the front steps of the building and he walked by and said something about my expression and that was my response.

Captain Caveman still asked me out on a date even after that ridiculous statement. Valentines Day was our first date and it has been history since February 14, 1995. We are still dating today, we say.

Since I have been growing old with Captain Caveman, my coolness has now faded. We settled down by buying our home, having kids, and swimming in debt. Cool is not what I would associate with me anymore. I remember when I realized that I wasn't "cool" and turned into an adult. It was when the kid in the drive thru called me Ma'am.

I was appalled at the time, thinking that he must have been crazy to call ME, the cool one, Ma'am.

Ridiculous nonsense.

If you look long enough, you will find a spark that once lit up inside my cool groovy soul. The image in the mirror now reflects a tired mother, who still has her baby weight, and has a few wrinkles. The coolness is gone and nerd took over.

Today, I embrace my nerd self with my apron wearing, pink frying pan style in my kitchen. It is where my children dance under my aromas of my newest and greatest con cautions that is made with love.

They think I am cool. But come on now... we all know that doesn't count. We know that they are going to embrace our nerd selves soon enough.

I am one with my nerd self. Are you?

My Screaming Fit Throwing Diva

2011-06-23T15:33:00.001-04:00

How come the walk of shame seems to take longer to leave than when you came inside of the store? I write this in jest adding on the obstacle of a squirming, kicking, and screaming 4 year old diva while coaxing her big 6 year old brother out to the car.

Don't you just love "the look" you receive when your child is having a tantrum? Sorry I don't have a mute button. I can't just yank out the duct tape and muffle her pathetic demands. Giving you a show of me disciplining her at the moment will only heighten her drama. So what is left to do? You just pick up the screaming child like a football and head for the goal, or in this case, the exit.

My little boy scooted the shopping cart behind us all the way to the door, exclaiming that I still need to checkout and buy what we put in the cart. In the midst of her screams, I had an intelligent conversation with my precocious child explaining to him that Yankee candle tarts are not a priority to purchase.

When we did finally get in the car, she knew that she lost the battle (score for mom) and she would have to assume the punishment for such ill behavior. This is when I didn't make my mere empty threats, but PROMISES that "the thunder is going to rain down upon her" when we get home.

She wiped her tear stained cheeks and sighed in defeat. Her big brother went into suck up mode as he tried to remind his mother that he was a perfect angel in the store.

I used my mom superpower of deaf ears as my children argued with each other all the way home. Their bickering has no hold on me and I am immune to such behavior. I gazed at my tired eyes in the rear view mirror and congratulated myself for sticking to my guns of not letting the little diva win in the store.

One day I know they will eventually won't act so abhorrent in public. It's not like you see 80 year old women throwing themselves on the ground when they don't get to have their Geritol.

(yes the picture is of my screaming little diva)

Stop the Ugly Creature

2011-06-23T15:30:00.001-04:00

Women are mean spiteful creatures. Aren't we? Add a child in the mix and we can grow into something worse. I remember working in an office where the majority were women. The hormones were raging continually added on top of the stress of deadlines. This created really ugly people. (inside ugly)

I am including myself.

I thought that when I birthed, I would turn into this glorious being who emulated nothing but peace, joy, and love. ah. NOPE. At least not yet. Moms will even compare their pain level of birthing with one another. Who ever had it worst wins.

My absolute favorite which I have been guilty of is when you find out that someone is pregnant, you immediately share the horror stories of birthing and then you blurt out the dumbest phrase...

"Oh, YOU JUST WAIT!"

Hmmm... what exactly am I waiting for? Thank you for sharing horrifying stories that will send my newly pregnant brain into nightmares all night long. What a stupid thing to say..... "oh you just wait."

What are you the wicked witch of the east (Oh! You just wait my pretty!)? I have since then tried not share horror stories with women in general who haven't birthed.

The toxic conversation reaches new limits, by comparing vaginal birth to c-sections. Being that I had c-sections with both of my children, I am someone who has been placed into a category that does not measure up in motherhood, because my kids didn't exit "the tunnel." This chatter left me feeling less than a woman and damaged me for days.

The battle continues over if you stay home, work at home, or work in the work force. I chose to stay home and left the work force. I have been challenged by previous associates for my decision. I felt as if I had to apologize for my choice and hide the fact that I am home with my children from people I meet daily.

I have watched talk shows with women in the work force duke it out with stay at home mothers and again, the hormones and anger rages. Beautiful women turn into ugly creatures. Surly, we can do better than this. I for one am sick of being the ugly creature. I am on a path to be more cognizant over what I am saying, so that my speech may be up lifting and encouraging to all women, no matter what their choice has been, or what life choices they are making.

Are you an ugly creature like me?

I have a confession, I'm a Fish Murderer

2011-06-23T15:23:00.002-04:00

I have a confession; I flushed a live fish down the drain yesterday. Yes, it’s true. We had two betta fish, one for each child. We didn't have a fancy fish bowl with filter and toys. We're cheap (its fish for God’s sake and we eat them.) My husband and I purchased two generic fish bowls when we bought the fish on mother’s day. The blue fish died two days ago. Thank GOD the kids never noticed him floating. I didn't have the heart to keep one without the other.

You know how kids can be? Two big brown eyes look up towards where the fish bowl used to be, one set of eyes are happy watching their fish swim around, while the other set of eyes are sad with tears, missing their fish that used to be there. Little lips quiver, tears fall down sweet cheeks, and the WHINE that can break glass comes to mom ears? (No thanks!)

So I did the next best thing. I flushed the other child's fish to follow his little friend. Trust me; he had a better chance of living, than in our house. One of the kids finally noticed this morning that their fish were gone. Thankfully, it was the older one who has his mind more on video games than keeping fish around. He took the news well.

As for the four year old, she has no idea yet, and I hope that she won't hold it against her mom for flushing her fish down the drain. I did keep NEMO in mind, when I did the deed; I told him that all drains lead to the ocean and to go find his father.

A (not so) Obnoxious Lunch Tale

2011-06-23T14:51:00.001-04:00

Today I joined my two precious ones at the kitchen table for lunch. They were adventurous and tried tomato soup. I don't know how you guys prefer to have yours, but the way I make mine is after my Grandmother. I add milk to make it creamy, topped with shredded cheese and pepper. Wished we had crackers to go along with it, but they enjoyed the soup just the same.

I got a bunch of "Yummy MOMMY!" and the best one came from my sweet girl who is 4 years of age. Keep in mind that we had "TOMATO" soup. After her delicious last drop from her slurped up spoon, she looks at me with wide eyes and a face full off soup on her cheeks. She gave me the sweetest smile and said,

"Mommy, this was the BEST Potato soup I never had!"

Knowing my four year old gibberish and what she meant, I took in the moment of her admiration and love for me. I kissed my little ones and sent then off to destroy the rest of the house.

Sighs... don't you love Motherhood? I do.

My Most Embarrassing Moment

2011-06-23T14:48:00.002-04:00

"Scoot your butt, Scoot your butt...." Yep you guessed it I am going to my annual O.B. appointment. Oh HOW do I loathe this days. The first time I went to my Gyno visit, I confided in a friend the day before about my nerves and how scared I was. She in turn gave me the advice that after you put your gown on and you sit on the exam table, to make sure you sit close to the edge. My friend had good intentions, but clearly, something went wrong. WHY? I fell off the table in all my glory.

Yes, this was my FIRST ever appointment and my embarrassment was at an all time high. How on earth could I have fallen off the table? After I dressed in my Bounty firmly pressed towel gown, I climbed on the exam table and laid down. I kept in mind to keep my behind all the way far enough down so I didn't have to do the shameful "scoot your butt dance" with the doctor getting a complete eye full.

All was going well during the exam. I remember thinking that my friend would be so proud to know that I took her advice. After it was over, I was asked to sit up so I could chat with the doctor after the exam.

Unfortunately because I had scooted so far at the end of the exam table, when I sat up I fell straight down. The Doctor and Nurse yelled "WHOOAA!!" and proceed to try to catch me like a baseball landing in a catchers mitt.

To my dismay, I was mortified. So as I do my annual exam today, I will make sure that my behind is scooted, but not too much. God that was embarrassing.

Bickering Errands

2011-06-23T14:42:00.002-04:00

Today I went on a few errands with my children. They fight over who will be the "line leader" and when I have had enough of their bantering, I over rule them and claim my first place in line. That usually settles their bickering right away. The little ones are smart. They join forces together and plan their next attack against me, their endearing mother.

When we were at the grocery store, we have to stop by the bakery to get the free cookie that they hand out to the kids. I used to make them hold out until I was finished shopping. Now its the first stop for us. The good thing about it is, their little mouths are stuffed and for a few moments and it is quiet. Then of course we hit the isle with the balloons and toys (that I zoom right pass) and the bickering starts up once again.

When I was unloading my groceries in the trunk, this old guy joked and said, "So when does school start?!"

Sighs. Sometimes like it better when they didn't talk so much. Lord knows I try to enjoy a good song or listen to my favorite hosts on talk radio, but I can forget that when they are in the car. I can see why people install those monitors in the back of the driver and passenger seats so that the kids can be entertained and keep quiet. I should by stock in duct tape. Lord knows I go through enough of it.

My son is at the age where he is now to old for naps. CURSES! BUT! He now has become my little slave and takes out the garbage for me as well as some other chores. So its an even trade. Its good training for his little sister to observe. Her day is coming. (brreeww haaw haw.)

Here is another thing I want to say. Whoever says that T.V. should NOT be used as a babysitter is INSANE. Granted all day everyday is a bit much, but if you have no other means to get a few moments of peace, then what are you to do? Balance is good. So is PEACE and QUIET. It's a shame they don't have those little t.v. monitors in grocery carts.

School Supply Shopping vs.The Jerry Springer Show

2011-06-23T14:38:00.001-04:00

WAP! ZOW! BLAST! POP! Where are those sounds coming from? Is Batman fighting crime and saving Gotham City from The Joker again? Nope! Moms are duking it out over school supplies at the local Walmart leaving the isle of debris in dust on the floor. Have you been to one of these bar fights, OOPS! I mean stores? Carts crowd the walk ways, frustrated and angry shoppers look on with disgust. Kids fight over the cool images on merchandise, while moms try to purchase all items listed on the school supply list.

Here are several tips from one mom to another if you are a witness to such an event.

1.) Take a wing man, another friend, or even older child to go into the abyss and get the items for you while you hold your place with the cart in the outside isle.

2.) If you have the LAST item on the hook, cautiously run to the cashier. Get security if needed.

3.) Wear protective padding on your arms, legs, chest, and possibly helmet before going. That way you have a better chance of less bruising if the mob goes wild over the last item purchased needed for the school supply list.

4.) Put ear muffs over your children's ears because of the swearing over frustrated mothers.

5.) In the event that you or a loved one gets injured, get VIDEO and PICTURES. Make sure you BLOG about it for all of us to see so we can share your discomfort while shaming poor behavior learned only from a Jerry Springer show.

Good Luck MOMS! Your mission is at hand. I hope that you all come out alive. God Bless and God Speed.

Please Keep Your Gluteal Cleft At Home

2011-06-23T14:34:00.001-04:00

Keep YOUR Gluteal Clefts at HOME! I know that would be impossible since a "gluteal cleft" is in fact a fancy name for the butt crack. (no I am dead serious)

Why oh WHY have you decided to write on such a crazy topic Ms. Obnoxious!?! I believe that this hardly talked about topic needs to be addressed, with one rule that should be followed.

Do you remember when the low rise jeans came out and stocks sky rocketed in t-back sales? It took a bit to get used to seeing in public. Now, seeing women's underwear peeking over a pair of blue jeans isn't shocking anymore.

With a purchase of these particular jeans, there should be a disclaimer warning to go with it. It should read, "If one is to purchase a pair of low riders, one must purchase a pair of t-backs." Otherwise, your not so pretty gluteal cleft will show.

Yesterday, I had my daughter home with me because of the kooties. After I dropped my son off at school, we stopped at our local grocery store to purchase a few miscellaneous items. As we rounded the isle to go to the check out, there before us was a sight that should never be seen in public.

Yep, a woman who had NO Business wearing low riders and peeking out and above was NOT an adorable pair of pink panties. In fact the only thing showing was her gluteal cleft. (it was massive)

EEEWWWW is right. As I tried not to regurgitate in my shopping cart from this unsightly mess, I quickly covered my daughters eyes and tried to think happy thoughts.

So a word for you my dear friends and foes. If you are going to wear your low riders,
cover your butt crack. It's NOT pretty.

Random Thoughts, Rants, and Observations

2011-06-23T14:31:00.001-04:00

I am up at 11:26pm catching up on my DVR.

My DVR is my best friend because I loathe commercials.

I really HATE it when the cashiers have to comment on my buys. I can't stand such chatter about how the instant mac and cheese cost so much more than if I would make a box normally. (really? NO??!! WOW. HEY! Guess what?! I ALREADY KNEW THAT!

Another thing, in the check out lines, I can't stand these skinny waif bucket puking - I am so hot and your not young girls who think that they are the BOMB with their max credit card fake designer purses. HEY GUESS WHAT! EVERYONE knows you can't really afford it on your daddy's allowance.

You ever see those young little things in these brand new sports cars? You know what I have been known for yelling at them? "Congratulations! You got an A!!

I am a total NERD at Starbucks and can't order a frickn fancy coffee, latte, and/or frappe to save my life. I say SHOW OFFS to you people who can rattle that special order in that weird unknown tongue that I have no idea what you are saying.

I just got a laptop (thank you my cousin David) and I think I am a Queen in my castle because I can type this stupid blog while in the living room. I am so cool.

I am pushing 40 (eh in a year or two.... but who's counting) and I still feel like a carefree gazelle in my 20s inside this very post babies body.

It takes everything in me to not want to hold those teacher's arms still when they do that 'keep it coming' wave in the car circle. I want to send a memo to them and exclaim that WE GET IT so knock it off.

I spotted 2 mullets today. 3 if you want to include Shambo on Survivor which I am watching at this moment on my DVR.

I don't care what you people think, Disney World is the happiest place on the earth.

When I go to Disney I let my kids watch the parades that I never got to see when I was a kid. (and I snicker knowing that I am sticking it to my parents)

Guess what? Its 11:42 p.m. and I know that not one person will be reading this (and admit to it) when it is posted.

There are NO Turkeys in the Suburbs!

2011-06-23T14:28:00.001-04:00

Captain Caveman got me good today. When it comes to 'country livin' he knows that I am the biggest target. The last time I checked, there were no turkeys running around the suburbs. Am I correct? Well, my big blonde moment today was when my fine husband tried to convince me that a vulture was a turkey.

We were on our way home in the car and by the beach was a wooded area where he spotted a "turkey!" Amazed and like jo jo the circus monkey, I quickly rolled the window down to hear this turkey gobble at me. When it wasn't speaking to me I felt a bit disappointed.

My disappointment quickly changed to disgust when my car filled with the most revolting smell off a dead carcass. (that I didn't see)

BUT WAIT! "Oh LOOK honey! Another TURKEY came to join his friend, I hope that this one talks to me!"

me- "GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

Capt. Caveman starts to chuckle at me.

I said, "Wait a minute, that isn't a turkey... is it?"

.......A perplexed pause............

"OH EM GEE! Is that a VULTURE?!"

A very entertained and satisfied laugh comes from my silly husband.

Just in case if you ever wondered, there are no turkeys in the suburbs. Also, if you gobble at a vulture, the won’t gobble back at you

My Not So Glamorous Life

2011-06-23T14:23:00.002-04:00

You think I live a glamorous life? PSHAW! What’s that?

Someone actually told me the other day that I must lead a glamorous life. WHAT?! Since I am home raising my kids?

I get to run errands, have lunch dates with my girlfriends, and hang out at the mall during the morning hours.

Yeah, who has time for that everyday? Not me!

If you think that is what is so glamorous, then excuse me while I pick myself of the floor from laughing my post baby butt off at you.

(wipes the dust bunnies off my mom jeans and notices the stain on my very warned Wal-Mart shirt that I got on sale on the clearance rack a few years ago.)

Actually, I used to think that I lived the glamorous life when I was working. I had a nice wardrobe, a pre-baby body to go in my nice wardrobe, I had an office, a desk, a phone, a trash can and separate can for recyclables, I schmooze with “important people”, I did “projects”, and went to meetings. I even had power lunches. I thought that I was DA BOMB! My husband and I were DINKS. (Double Income No Kids)

Captain Caveman and I would spontaneously decide during dinner on our Friday night dates, to go home and pack our suitcases to hang out at Disney World for the rest of the weekend. We would sleep in and chill out with Latte’s by the pool.

I ended up “going home” when I became pregnant with my son seven years ago. I developed complications with my pregnancy and haven’t return to work since. Today, have a gorgeous son and now a gorgeous diva daughter to go with him.

I remember the huge transition I made when I decided to be a stay at home mother instead of returning to the office. I thought that this is going to be a no brainer. I can operate a dishwasher. This is nothing! I knew how to turn on my laundry machine and dryer machine. Piece of cake, please! What is the big freaking deal about being a stay at home mom?

I also remember going to my first official Moms Group.

(blah!…how that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.)

I remember walking in the door after leaving my son for the first time in a strangers care in the nursery. (that alone was traumatizing of itself) I remember thinking, still as a working mother, how I needed to be nice to the natives.

The natives were whom I considered to be other mothers. At that time, it hadn’t processed in my brain that I was one as well. I was still sipping Latte’s by the pool at Disney Resorts.

Eventually, I realized that these moms weren’t as glamorous either as I had thought they were. They weren’t living the life of luxury either. I will just let you guys know now, Its NOT GLAMOUROUS!

I am now one with my nerd self and I am okay with it. I may not be going to power lunches and crunching numbers for year end reports anymore. I am just scrubbing peanut butter out of my clothes, frantically looking for more duct tape, and of course avoiding housework like the champion that I am!

My Obnoxious Sermon

2011-06-23T14:18:00.002-04:00

What an amazing message I heard today at church. We had a guest speaker who is a Pastor in Kenya . My absolute favorite accents to listen to, is those from South Africa . So I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, enjoying this awesome man speak about a simple topic that goes far too unnoted.

What was the topic? Simply, reaching out to others and making an effort to care. Isn’t it sad that this doesn’t come naturally? Do you look at people in the eyes and look to see what their windows of their soul are saying? Sometimes, the pain inside of them is screaming for someone to care. Or are you someone who sees the pain and then turns your head away and ignores them.

Are you reaching beyond your comfort zone and shoving your pride away to give someone hope? Do you even SMILE? Do you care enough to smile at someone who obviously needs an act of kindness?

This afternoon, I was driving home from a trip to the grocery store. My husband needed me to make a quick run and get ice cream for his work party. As I was driving home, this man was tailgating me. I used to like to mess with such fools by slowing down and watching them in my rear view mirror squirm in their misery screaming and cursing at me to move faster.

As quickly as the thought popped in my head, I quickly was reminded to show this moron some grace and kindness. I considered it my good deed of the day. I speed up a little bit instead of taking a path to cause more chaos and anger to the situation, like I used to. I put my pride away and gave this nerd an act of kindness; regardless of his lack of manners on the road and regardless if he deserved it at that moment.

I thought that I had no idea why he could be in such a hurry. Maybe he was on the way to the hospital to be with a family member that could have been suddenly hurt? Maybe his wife was in an accident?! It could be possible that he was just in a hurry to get a slurpee at 7/11.

(dang those things are good.)

What are YOU doing today to bring a smile to someone? Maybe the next time when you are in the check out line and you see someone with something less than you, you could let them go in front of you!

(it won’t kill you people, I’ve done it many times.)

When you are chit chatting with a stranger, look in their eyes and glance to see if they need some extra kindness. Maybe they need that smile that day to know that someone in this world does care about them.

(Maybe they need a slurpee.)

People need hope. People need people. People need to know that God loves them and that they are not alone in this world.

Whose kids are those?

2011-06-23T14:13:00.001-04:00

I need a Martini hot tea, a bath with my buddy Calgon, and a medal for my trip to TJ Max with my kids. Am I the only one who wants to run and hide from my two sweet hooligans when they start acting a fool? It would be so much easier to act like they aren't mine and say to strangers, "GAWD! Whose kids are they?!"

I know you think I must be exaggerating, but it really can be torturous. For instance, I was on the hunt for a laptop carrier.

(Yes I am a total addict and now self proclaimed laptop snob.)

I don’t know what happens from the time my children get out of the car and enter into the store. The stern lecture that I give them while their right hands are raised in pledge to not “make naughty choices” and to listen to mommy leaves their tiny carefree brains when they see the shiny merchandise.

They fight over who gets to push the shopping cart. They whine and beg to see the toys on the other side. Why is it that they have to touch every fragile item that should be UNTOUCHED?

My son’s bladder is on crack as he needs a visit to the little boy’s room 3 times while shopping.

(Oh boy! ! THAT GETS OLD!)

Finally, after the hunt is over and my decision is made we make our way to the check out isle. How I despise those marketers who want their merchandise displayed in such a way to entice my sticky fingered children!

Excuse me, but Are YOU my children?

2011-06-23T14:11:00.002-04:00

I know you think I must be exaggerating, but it really can be torturous. For instance, I was on the hunt for a laptop carrier.

(Yes I am a total addict and now self proclaimed laptop snob.)

They fight over who gets to push the shopping cart. They whine and beg to see the toys on the other side. Why is it that they have to touch every fragile item that should be UNTOUCHED?

My son’s bladder is on crack as he needs a visit to the little boy’s room 3 times while shopping.

(Oh boy! ! THAT GETS OLD!)

Gollem the Crossing Guard

2011-06-23T14:07:00.002-04:00

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

I thought what was that weird noise?

WHAM! WHAM! WAHM!

While sitting in the car circle, I heard this unusual noise.I looked over my left shoulder and its the school crossing guard violently smacking her stop sign to get my attention.

(just a thought here, why not politely knock on my window so I can roll it down and converse like an adult and not like a Neanderthal? It wasn't like I was going anywhere)

There standing before me was a huffing puffing crossing guard in my car circle. I am guessing that she is in her 50s. She peered over the rim of her sunglasses and with attitude. She didn't speak to me when i rolled my window down,instead she smacked the back of her stop sign again and pointed to the crosswalk.

(wow the city is very gracious in hiring those that have disabilities.....poor thing can't talk nor communicate properly. .... okay, there isn't anything really wrong with her, I am just being cynical and silly.)

I finally figured out what this ~~mime~~ crossing guard was trying to convey to me. She didn't like that that I did not fully move my car over her white lines.

Lord knows she loves to guard them fervently. For this, I have great respect for. Precious little children, such as mine, cross safely here and I appreciate that she takes her job so seriously as wanting me to move fully all the way up and over her precious lines to make it safe as possible.

So as I pulled my car all the way over, i peered in my rear view window and the thought came to me how she reminded me of this guy.

(MY PRECIOUS!)

Yes, I so went there making a reference to Gollum from Lord of the Rings calling the cross walk "her precious."

(they don't call me Obnoxious for nothin)

Helpful Tip to Get Your Child to Clean Around the House

2011-06-23T13:43:00.001-04:00

Do you think that you will have to toss those Halloween costumes you spent a fortune on since October 31^st has now passed? I found a creative way to make use of them throughout the year. Consider it motivation to get your kids to help you clean around the house! (I know too good to be true right!) It works for me! This year my four year old decided to be super girl for Halloween. The other night I let her try on her costume while I was picking up the house. (It can happen…I can’t avoid it forever. hee hee). While I was picking up, my little super hero said she wanted to help because she had super powers.

*DING*

A light came on and I realized that I can use this to work for me. I decided to play along with her.

“SUPER GIRL! Can you save the day and pick up your toys in the playroom?!”

“YES! MOMMY!! I will save the day and clean up the playroom and protect you from the bad boys!”

(yeah …. Go me!)

Guess what?! She not only cleaned up her playroom, but picked up the rest of the house and helped me with laundry and dishes. Cool huh?!

Never fear my friends, just be creative. Did I tell you that she rocks her little outfit and plays the part well, by flying around with her arms stretched out wide as she makes a “shhhhhing” sound as if the wind would be blowing in her hair.

Super Girl also melts things with her lazer eyes. (I know! Watch out!!)

She also will blow you away with her Super breath. That is how she cleaned up her toy room. I love watching her play the part. She does it so well and is so animated (like mother, like daughter.)

I also get the Super snuggles too. I think I will let her wear this everyday, since it so much more than just a one night costume.

Insightful Kitchen Wisdom

2011-06-23T13:39:00.000-04:00

I was enlightened earlier tonight when I was cooking chicken on the stove top. The funny thing was that I was cooking in a dark kitchen because my light had burned out suddenly. The aromas in the air made my mouth water as I was enjoying the hint of barbecue sauce simmering the chicken to perfection. My daughter Sophia likes to be involved in everything that I do, including being my kitchen assistant. She held a flash light over my scathing pan as steam danced in the path of the light.

Amazed and surprised my curious four year old diva was as she commented on the steam that the pan must be hot. In that moment I had a deep and insightful thought. It's funny that in the dark, we don't see clearly, the faults that lie deep within ourselves.

It's only when we take a closer look and shine the light on areas of our life we need to analyze. We do this so we can make sure that we are well enough and are maintaining a happy and healthy lifestyle. Sometimes there will be indicators and warning signs that there's a present danger. We should heed to such warnings that its time to make a change or possibly take a different path in life. I think that Harry S. Truman says it best, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!"

Shapewear Cardio Workout

2011-06-23T13:29:00.009-04:00

I have found a newly discovered cardio workout! It is called, putting on your shape wear. Oh yes! It is true, you will definitely break into a sweat and your heart will race, as you take on the three challenging obstacle courses.

The first obstacle course is called the left leg. In the beginning it may seem like a piece of cake as you step into the first part of the opening of the course. The difficulty is more noticed in the second lap of obstacle course two.

The second obstacle course becomes more difficult as the right leg enters the opening. You may notice you might start to shimmy and become a bit more breathless as you are trying to maneuver your body through the tight fitting squeezes.

The third phase of this obstacle course is where your heart beat becomes extremely elevated! You can really feel the calories burn as you are shaking what the good Lord gave you while pulling up this shape wear over your behind and your belly. The key to success in conquering this challenge could be that you do a dance and jump wildly all over your room as you continue to yank in a upward pull. I know from experience.

Overcoming these three obstacle courses will guarantee great success as your heart palpitation is reached to the appropriate levels, thus the end result is a triumphant cardio workout! If you are looking for a new inventive idea of burning calories, then I highly recommend the Shape Wear Cardio Workout! It works great for me and it will for you too!

When the Dookie Hits the Fan...

2011-06-22T22:39:00.007-04:00

There is nothing like pacing a hospital in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. Your mind searches for answers, your heart cries in moans of mercy, and you beg God for a miracle. My daughter Sophie ended up at a children's hospital in August 2010 with a collapsed right lung loaded with strep, staph, not to mention a pleural effusion, and pneumonia. It was the hardest time I had ever faced in my life. I don't think I have ever felt that helpless before. She had a chest tube drain that didn't work well so then they scoped her and shot saline solution in her lung. They found that she had dried up mucus (like cement according to her Pulmonologist).

Since last August (almost a year now) my daughter has had return visits to this hospital numerous times with Pneumonia. She has been poked more times than I can count so much that the last time she was to have an I.V., my brave little 6 year old stuck her arm out to the nurse as she took in a deep breath and stated, "Okay Sir, You may give me an I.V. now." (gee I don't think I could be as brave as she is... there must have been a mix up at the hospital that day she came into the world.)

I have so much to be thankful for today. She isn't in a hospital bed being quarantined to her room. She is home, still recovering from her episode in August of last year, but we are thankful that she is alive and doing well today. One thing I learned was who your real friends are when the dookie hits the fan. Some went running away and then there were those who stood by our side and gave us such amazing support. Surprisingly from several we thought they would never have cared. Am I bitter by those who took off? Nah. Am I grateful for those that are supportive? You betcha.